You see, I don’t fool around with the puck like New York Rangers. Mila, kiss me! Why do you keep these in your pocket? How do you get into a restaurant? 41? So young to die... What is this, why do you hate everybody?

EPISODE 1895 - MAY 5, 2004 INT. STUDIO 6A, 30 ROCKEFELLER PLAZA GUESTS Andy Richter (New York Minute) Mila Kunis (That '70s Show) entomologist Georges Brossard O’BRIEN: Alright everybody, we are back. My next guest tonight is a bug expert and founder of the Montreal Insectarium in Montreal, Quebec, and he’s brought a few of his insect friends. Please welcome Georges Brossard. Georges, how are you? Brossard refuses to shake Conan’s hand. Uh, let me explain very quickly. There’s a little tension between Georges and I, you see, you are a French Canadian, you’re from Quebec; we sent Triumph The Insult Comic Dog there a little while ago, a little angry about that…I apologize and now we make nice. Now it’s all good. BROSSARD: I would like to shake hand, after the show with you. O’BRIEN: After the show. BROSSARD: After the show. O’BRIEN: Yes, but first you feel that I need to do some penance for what happened in Quebec, is that right? BROSSARD: Yes. You see, I don’t fool around with the puck like New York Rangers, so let’s proceed. O’BRIEN: Yes. BROSSARD: Yes, yes indeed. Yes, yes. O’BRIEN: Yes, yes, we’ll lets proceed! Yes, yeah! Well said, okay. BROSSARD: We acknowledge that you were not fully responsible for the situation, and as a man of honour – O’BRIEN: It was out of my control, there was nothing I could do! BROSSARD: And as a man of honour, as a man of class, you apologize, and you took full responsibility. O’BRIEN: Yes I did, yes I did. BROSSARD: That’s why it’s time to reconcile. O’BRIEN: Yes. BROSSARD: But before reconciliation, just like in a family, when a boy doesn’t behave too well, we apply a little punishment, so I’m here to punish you! Yes! I’m here – it’s time for justice to be done. O’BRIEN: Okay, lets do it. BROSSARD: And to do this, I will use the most hated, despised, and misunderstood animals on earth, the insects. O’BRIEN: The insects. BROSSARD: The insects. And to start with, I will put in your hand, if you don’t mind – O’BRIEN: Not at all. BROSSARD: Are you ready? O’BRIEN: Yes I’m ready. I don’t love bugs. BROSSARD: Oh, it’s not my problem, you must love bugs. O’BRIEN: Aah! Brossard takes a cockroach from his vest pocket and places it in Conan’s right hand. BROSSARD: A beautiful cockroach. O’BRIEN: God! BROSSARD: Yes, yes. One is not enough, I will put one on you. Brossard puts another cockroach onto Conan’s jacket. O’BRIEN: That’s great, just put that on me. You’re putting it on me? BROSSARD: If you drop them, your punishment will be double. O’BRIEN: Okay. BROSSARD: Yes, yes, yes, yes. O’BRIEN: That’s great. That’s great. That’s really great. BROSSARD: Now, I have here, a beautiful walking stick, There you are. Brossard places a walking stick on Conan’s jacket. O’BRIEN: Oh my god, what is this thing right here? Look at that! Oh my god, look at that! BROSSARD: Now! I have a giant one, you know, a giant one, so if you don’t mind, there you are. O’BRIEN: Ok, this is not – oh my god! Conan turns to Mila Kunis, an earlier guest, sitting at Conan’s desk in horror. Kunis admitted earlier in the show that she was petrified of bugs. Mila, kiss me! KUNIS: Oh my god, oh my god! BROSSARD: It’s time for justice. Now, I have a huge – O’BRIEN: Why do you keep these in your pocket? How do you get into a restaurant? I mean, just curious. BROSSARD: I hate them all! O’BRIEN: You hate them all. Brossard places a millipede into Conan’s hands. Ooh, what is this, this is a millipede, is that right? BROSSARD: Yeah, but that’s easy. Brossard removes the millipede from Conan’s hands, and lifts a coffee mug on the desk to reveal a tarantula. The punishment is more accelerated. O’BRIEN: Oh my god, now that’s a tarantula, I don’t wanna touch that, no no no no no no! BROSSARD: Yes, yes, yes, yes. Brossard puts the tarantula onto Conan’s right wrist. You see, don’t worry, don’t worry. Brossard picks up the tarantula and places it on Conan’s right shoulder, along with the cockroach and walking stick. O’BRIEN: Oh my god, why are you putting it over there? BROSSARD: Now, for final punishment – O’BRIEN: Can I ask you a question? Is the venom out of the tarantula? BROSSARD: Deadly. I have here – O’BRIEN: Are you serious? There’s venom in the tarantula. Brossard lifts a second coffee cup to reveal a scorpion. BROSSARD: I have here – O’BRIEN: NO! That’s a scorpion! No, no scorpion was discussed in rehearsal. No to the scorpion! No! No. BROSSARD: How old are you? O’BRIEN: How old am I? Well, what does it matter? I’m 41, what’s the point? BROSSARD: So young to die. Brossard places the deadly scorpion into Conan’s right hand. O’BRIEN: Oh geez, oh no no no no! You said you were going to – that’s got a stinger. BROSSARD: That’s it. Deadly. But you did well. Brossard removes the scorpion from Conan’s hand. You’re a man of courage. You’re a man of honour. Camera cuts to a shocked Kunis. KUNIS: Oh my god! Brossard removes the walking stick from Conan’s hair, and places it on his own head. However, the walking stick slips and falls, grabbing a hold of the bottom of Brossard’s vest. O’BRIEN: Ow! Oh, oh, that – BROSSARD: Not my problem, not my problem. O’BRIEN: Oh look, it’s on his butt! Turn around, look at that! BROSSARD: That’s alright, that’s alright. O’BRIEN: It grabbed on to your ass. Andy Richter, former Late Night sidekick and a guest of Conan’s that evening, mentions to Conan that Brossard forgot to remove one insect from Conan’s body. RICHTER: There’s still a tarantula on your back. O’BRIEN: Oh, where’s the tarantula!?! KUNIS: It’s on your back! O’BRIEN: Wait – AAAH! Brossard removes the tarantula from Conan’s back. O’BRIEN: What the hell! You didn’t even know the tarantula was – thank you Andy! The one show where Andy comes back in a couple of years, and – no no no! Brossard begins to walk towards Richter and Kunis with a tarantula in hand, sending Kunis running into the audience. KUNIS: Oh my god! No no no no! BROSSARD: Now - O’BRIEN: What is this, why do you hate everybody? Like, “Aah! I make the pretty talented girl run away and be afraid!” BROSSARD: Now that reconciliation is done, I brought as a symbol of this, a beautiful butterfly, a monarch, and I will release him in the studio. That’s your problem. Brossard throws the butterfly, expecting it to flutter away, but the butterfly simply falls back down onto the desk. Conan begins to laugh hysterically. BROSSARD: Alright. O’BRIEN: Now that’s your problem! BROSSARD: Let’s reconcile, let’s reconcile. Brossard shakes Conan’s hand, and tries to hug him. O’BRIEN: Hey, what are you doing now? BROSSARD: I hug you – O’BRIEN: Okay. BROSSARD: I hug you, because – O’BRIEN: Yeah, now we’re friends, alright. By the way, your work inspired a new movie called The Blue Butterfly, which is debuting this weekend at the Tribeca Film Festival. Sir, thank you very much for coming, you’re a good man. Georges Brossard, we’ll take a break, we’ll be right back.